Life Worth Living

Paranormal Activity 2: text in mirror, "What is Happening to Hunter?" #films

Pop over to paranormalmovie.com to see the trailer for Paranormal Activity 2.

Its interesting. The very last shot is not all it seems. Firstly there is a baby in the mirror but not in the cot. Secondly, there is text on the floor in the mirror. Here is a screen shot with parts highlighted. CLICK TO SEE A LARGER VERSION.I have only colour enhanced the relevant areas of the image, nothing more.

However, through a use of many image processing functions (cut, rotate, colour, despeckle, flip, salt and pepper filter, and histogram - from memory ) the text in the mirror from Paranormal Activity 2 is now revealed:

"What is happening to hunter?"

My wild stab in the dark is that "hunter" is the dog in the trailer.

Damn my wife just walked in - scared the shit out of me!

I'm not a Twitter ID, I'm a Free Man

I'm not a twitter ID...

Middleage Crisis?

Ways you know you are middle aged:

1. You sustain a sporting injury getting out of bed
2. You pull a muscle just towel drying your hair - whats left of it
3. Classic FM is your preferred pop music channel
4. Your son drives you to the doctor after the last match in which you dislocated another limb
5. "In bed by ten" actually sounds like a good idea
6. Those pretty girls smiling at you- they're laughing at your dance moves 
7. You think a deep tan and gold jewelry is a good look
8. No matter how many Apple products you carry, you no longer look hip and trendy
9. You chose "comfort fit" clothing gladly
10. Popping pills is a necessity for health, not a pleasure anymore
11. There are some pop/film starlets you just feel WRONG ogling
12. Every story you tell starts : "A few years ago..."
13. After a late night, you could star in Zombie Apocalypse, Dawn of the Dead
14. When friends come over for a party, there are nibbles, wine and conversation involved. No Togas.
15. You start to think about "financial assets" and "plans for the future"
16. Those kids are too young to drive, surely?
17. Music in public places is nearly always too loud
18. If you can call it music
19. Teen comedies are best left for teenagers
20. You had to get glasses to read this list

Summer at last

Oh its so good I'd almost forgotten how nice Summer is. As I was taught never to use nice to describe something at school I shall simply express my admiration for summer with some images:

 

 

At last Summer is here.

England - going home, going home

Germany v England.

• Prior to the 4-1 thrashing, Germany had won 11 of the last 20 encounters. England just 6.
• Germany have failed just once since 1954 to reach the quarter finals.
• Germany rank higher than England in FIFA world rankings.
• Germany has a younger, fitter, faster team.

So, despite English press this was always Germanys game.

But 4-1? Ok it was really 4-2. But 4-2?

Rooney again failed to penetrate, let alone shoot. 24 years old and unable to outrun anyone. In England, his strength and hard man approach work well but at internationals you need guile and cunning too. Speed is essential. Keeping your frustration and temper under control is critical. Rooney seems to lack many of these skills.

England did well when launching the ball over the German defence but showed no progress of any kind in the last 18 yards on the ground ( unlike Germany). Something I've blogged about before. There is no team in attack, no motion, no imagination. It was also noteable in the second half how Gerrard stopped passing. He shot, shot and then shot again. He tried to become a one man saviour. Was he advised to do this or did he just lose faith and patience with others?

Lastly, what did "Sir" Capello do? Bring on Heskey. There's a reason English fans chant "even Heskey scored" in one song. He was unlikely to help but capello seemed determined to play his way. Capello. What a clever man. He refuses to quit and waits to be fired. Of course. 5 weeks before the world cup his contract was renegotiated. It has a clause removed, the consequence of which is that he must be paid 12 million pounds severance. Nice. Smart. Not smart enough to form a team out of Englands players but smart. I'm a manager by trade. A manager can make things happen even when some members of the team are young, inexperienced or lack confidence. A bad manager can only work with experienced, excellent people. Capellos unwillingness to try new people and bring them along marks him out as a bad manager in my opinion.

And what of Germany? They played well. They had an almost psychic understanding infront of the goal. Their speed and hunger showed. Yet, I couldn't avoid noticing names like Podolski, Gomez and Osel are not traditional German names. It seems Germany has a policy of accelerated patrionisation if you play football well. There were three Polish origin players in this game alone. Germanies modern team is the footballing equivalent of a boy band: big hits, success but deep down hollow and manufactured. Still, it's legal. Perhaps other countries need to wake up and boyband their football.

Finally THAT refereeing decision. Made by a man who made the exact same mistake in a Brazil-Chile match. Made by a man who was suspended by FIFA for undisclosed reasons a few years ago. Made by a man who is on record saying he never wants to use technology in football as it can't replace what he does. I disagree, faulty technology could easily replace what this refereee does.

This match raises many questions.

• What happened to Rooney in world cup 2010?
• Was the lacklustre performance and lack of goals the players or managers fault?
• Should technology be used?
• Is the referees career FINALLY over?
• Should their be stricter rules on what constitutes a national side?
• What was Beckams role as ambassador?

But it answers one. Will England go all the way in 2010? All the way home perhaps.

England Beat Slovenia - Told you So

For the three squirrels that read this blog, I pointed out that England drew with Algeria as they played a ground game. Why Capello did not respond during that game is beyond me.

Today England beat Slovenia. From the start England played a long ball game. The ball was lobbed or crossed into the box right from the start. Nobody tried to run it through. The change in tactics was so obvious from the whistle and led to a first half goal from a simple cross. Dafoes goal was embarrassingly simple. 

Capello obviously took a few days to work out what I'd spotted during the Algerian match. 6 million? Right. I told you so - you read it here first.

35 minutes from the end, Capello removed Rooney and transformed England into a defensive team. Or was there more to it? Rooneys usual ground game has been neutralised by every team so far. Is he the weapon we think he is? His frustration is building and he missed a sitter during this match to his disbelief and ours. Rooneys biggest problem now is his own mind. Its also Englands. If it were my desvciion I'd keep feeding him until he breaks this barrier then drag him to the fans, lift him up and give him one enormous ego boost as he sees the fans going wild for him.

Come on Rooney - believe you can do it.

The Reason England drew 0-0 with Algeria in World Cup 2010

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Most of them run something like "Rooneys rubbish", "Heskey must be replaced", "Capellos is overpaid" (which he is but thats another issue) and the best one "You all booed us".

Englands poor passing was to blame - or was it. Against USA Englands passes were only 77% successful, against Algeria, 82%. The passing was better on average. It may have frustratingly seemed otherwise but the truth is the passing was about normal.

Shots? England had more against Algeria.

Tackling success? Better against Algeria.

Number of tackles? Double that of the game with USA.

So what on Earth? We watched it, the performance was frustratingly mediocre. The answer is simple and not much favoured. Algeria, it turns out, defended much better than the USA:

• Algeria tackling success was 92%, whilst that of USA was 68%!
• Algeria caught England offside only once, but USA 5 times. Why? Because they hung back and then tackled...their prime weapon, instead of pushing out.
• England-Algeria game had far more tackling than the USA game (really it did - about 70% more) and Algaria won that battle.

England were locked out 92% of the time. 92% - no wonder it seemed frustrating. So why did England play so badly? They did not change tactics to the long ball - something Capello hates - and go over the tackles until far too late in the game. Doggedly they tried to run the ball through the middle and failed time and time again. No wonder Rooney and even Heskey seemed to play so badly - they were playing to the Algerian strength. They lost heart and became frustrated - who wouldn't with 92% failure rate?

The manager should have seen this, Capello should have analysed this and sent instructions. He should have had Crouch (and we all know his failings) on earlier and been lobbing that ball right into the Algerian box. With few off-sides to worry about, it could have paid off quickly.

But, no Mr Capello (sorry, "Sir" as we must address him) left it too late and did too little. Credit to the Algerian team for an incredible defensive performance, but woe on Capello for having no response ready.

Adobe is Update Hell

Update hell. If Dante was writing today, his first circle of hell would involve tight deadlines and PCs that refuse to work because they are downloading updates to software we never knew we needed. Hapless souls would be trapped in a never ending hell of download after download whilst Outlook greyed out and titled itself "Not Responding".

The devil walking the level and punishing the workers would be called "Adobe".

Yesterday, a colleague and I were bemoaning Adobe. His PC needed a reboot because Adobe updated had updated Adobe Reader. A reboot? For software that displays a file. Its an application - not a driver, not an O/S update - an application and his PC was insisting on a reboot.

Earlier the same day, I had been on a website where the page proudly announced that I needed to upgrade my (Adobe) Flash plug-in. I did that last week I think. I duly complied, resigned to my  fate of never ending updates for the Lord Adobe. Of course nothing on the web page truly needed an update, no new features, no mind bending 3D, spatialised sound or shaders. It was just policy. Sigh.

Then this morning. My PC booted and then sat, a dialogue box mocking me. It read:

"Adobe updater. Updating Adobe Updater." (or something similar, it was 5:30am)

I, er , what? Meta-updates? The Lord Adobe has transcended, reached a higher plateau and now can update updates of an updater. Absolute freakin madness.

This isn't the worst part. As if Adobe wasn't content enough to cripple the computing world with ridiculously bloated software, enforced downloads and very little usefulness, they now want a part of the TV world. Oh yes, Adobe Flash coming soon to cripple your TV.

Imagine a second level of hell, where you sit all day on your sofa (surrounded by molten lava) trying to watch TV and each time the show gets good, Adobe announces another update. Possibly just of the updater. Adobe insists before you watch the next show you download the latest Flash which will add amazing new features, you will never need. I imagine Lord Adobe whipping out his ipad and watching TV shows unencumbered.

Uma Thurman film is mother of all flops

IT could go down in British cinema history as the great Easter turkey. A film about a stressed-out mother, featuring the Hollywood superstar Uma Thurman, has been withdrawn from show after just 11 cinema goers turned up to see it in its opening weekend.

via entertainment.timesonline.co.uk

The movie Motherhood (trailer)) took about 40,000 in the USA and just 88 pounds sterling.. 88 pounds sterling.. in the UK. Film critic Barry Norman says he is unable to explain this. The truth is it only opened on one screen. The distributors, didn't distribute it. But why? One reason for sure is that the DVD release is only a few days away. This certainly makes a difference. The other reasons are more subtle.

Lets see, Uma puts on a yellow cat suit and kicks ass in a violent, stylish kung fu movie from Tarantino and generates a fan base and then, next appears in a film about motherhood in a nightie. So well, that fan base isn't going to watch it. Then its a film about someone becoming a writer and single mum. Writers writing about writers - again - is not going to be a big seller. Lastly, how many single mums would dump the kids with a baby sitter in a clamour to get to the cinema on the first weekend.

Who then is this film aimed at?

Seriously, what is this films demographic? JK Rowling after too much morning gin?

OK if its a belter, it might open... so we watch the trailer. It opens with a cringe joke about a kid being fat and ends with a cut swear word. Its teen level humour but in a subject matter for thirty somethings. Oops.Worse Uma is a low to mid quality star and its known that mid level stars simply cannot open a movie if the movie itself doesn't offer audiences something.

Perhaps that explains why it wasn't distributed or promoted.

5x more people care about Jet Bike Steve than Child abuse. Why am I not suprised?